Funny Travel Quotes: 100+ Fun Quotes And Captions About Travel
This huge list of funny travel quotes and captions has been created to make you smile and inspire your travels. A huge collection of funny, corny and witty quotes are guaranteed to brighten your day.
Let’s face it, life can just be too serious sometimes, and things can go wrong, especially when we travel.
Being able to step back and have a laugh about it can be healing and completely change your day (and travel experience). And that’s exactly why I’ve put this list of funny travel quotes together.
And who knows, you could just be looking for the perfect caption to go along with your travel photos on Instagram or Facebook – I’ve got you covered.
So, sit back, have a laugh and enjoy these quotes:
Funny Travel Quotes
These are all the quotes that I could find from reliable sources as to who originally created them, below you’ll find a list of those where I was unable to find the original author.
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them” ~ Mark Twain
“Aeroplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” ~ Al Gore
“Plane tickets are the answer. Who cares what the question is?” ~ Anonymous
“Don’t worry about the world ending today; it’s already tomorrow in Australia.” ~ Charles M. Schulz
“My mum watches a special type of news program that only reports on horrible incidents happening in places I’m about to visit.” ~ Jared Freid
“People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal.” ~ Melanie White
“A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.” ~ Chelsea Handler
“Jet lag is for amateurs.” ~ Dick Clark
“Worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!” ~ Russell Baker
“Nothing says ‘vacation’ like spending $72 on food and booze at the airport before even reaching your destination.” ~ Ashley Fern
“The saying ‘Getting there is half of the fun’ became obsolete with the advent of commercial airlines.”~ Henry Tilman
“There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror.” ~ Orson Welles
“Say yes, and you’ll figure it out afterwards.” ~ Tina Fey
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.” ~ Steve Martin
“Las Vegas is sort of how God would do it if he had money.” ~ Steve Wynn
“Kilometres are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometres.” ~ George Carlin
“The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.” ~ Andy Borowitz
“Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.” ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.” ~ Bob Hope
“Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by stark moments of terror.” ~ Al Boliska
“Backpacking is the art of knowing what not to take.” ~ Sheridan Anderson
“I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.” ~ Anonymous
“I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep travelling west, I can become immortal.” ~ Jarod Kintz
“The airport is a lawless place. 7 am? Drink a beer. Tired? Sleep on the floor. Hungry? Chips now cost $17.” ~ Alyssa Limperis
Orville Wright said to his brother, “Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?” ~ Red Buttons
“Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equalling a hundred miles.” ~ Roseanne Barr
“People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home.” ~ Dagobert D. Runes
“I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.” ~ Henny Youngman
“My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I’m thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.” ~ Dennis Miller
“Travel becomes a strategy for accumulating photographs.” ~ Susan Sontag
“Well, we’re not in the middle of nowhere, but we can see it from here.”~ Thelma & Louise
“Drink heavily with the locals whenever possible.” ~ Anthony Bourdain
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.” ~ Paul Theroux
“When it’s three o’clock in New York, it’s still 1938 in London. ~ Bette Midler
“I travel light but not at the same speed.” ~ Jarod Kintz
“The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts.” ~ Anthony Price
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”~ Michael LeRoux
“Travelling is like flirting with life. It’s saying ‘I would stay and love you but I have to go, this is my station.’” ~ Lisa St. Aubin de Teran
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.” ~ Jim Gaffigan
“According to the map, we’ve only gone four inches.” ~ Dumb and Dumber
“For me, being ‘chill’ is getting to the airport three hours before take-off so I can sit in a restaurant directly across from my gate and be anxious about missing my flight from there.” ~ Alli Brown
“Adventure without risk is Disneyland.” ~ Douglas Coupland
“I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags.” ~ Guy Clark
“Any time you fly somewhere, don’t pay your credit card bill. If the plane crash lands, those people will never stop looking for you.” ~ Kelkulus @kelkulus
“There is nothing safer than flying – it’s crashing that is dangerous.” ~ Theo Cowan
“Road trips require a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes – oh, and directions.” ~ Jenn McKinlay
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.” ~ Susan Heller
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.” ~ foodandwhining
“Now I know why they tell you to put your head between your knees on crash landings. You think you’re going to kiss your ass good-bye.” ~ Terry Hanson
“No matter where you go, there you are.” ~ Buckaroo Banzai
“The best way to know a city is to eat it.” ~ Scott Westerfeld
“A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.” ~ John Steinbeck
“If at some point you don’t ask yourself ‘What have I gotten myself into?’ then you’re not doing it right.” ~ Roland Gau
Vacation resort rule number one: Apparently, if you place a towel on a chair, you own said chair forever. ” ~ Mike Scully
“Once in a while, it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told.” ~ Alan Keightley
“Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life.” ~ Jia Tolentino
“Airports are gonna go from being the meanest place to be to the nicest once we’re allowed to fly again. Check my bag? Go ahead. Screaming baby? Sit right next to me, buddy.” ~ Ashley Fern Rothberg
“It’s easier to find a travelling companion than to get rid of one.” ~ Art Buchwald
“My favourite thing to pack on trips are all the clothes I never wear at home and then find fun, flirty and exciting ways to not wear them while I’m away.” ~ Adam Rippon
“Imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they clap their hands when the plane lands.” ~ Desus Nice
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.” ~ Abe Yospe
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?” ~ George Roberts
“Not everyone has to ride off into the sunset with a man. Some of us just want a tan.” ~ Mandy Hale
“If at some point you don’t ask yourself ‘What have I gotten myself into?’ then you’re not doing it right.” – Roland Gau
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting and new places.” ~ Tom Lichtenheld
“Birds literally just eat, travel and shit on things they don’t like. I don’t know about you but that’s the lifestyle I’m striving for.” ~ The Captain
Funny Travel Captions
So many of the quotes I researched didn’t credit the source, so I’m going to call them captions instead of funny travel quotes. Feel free to correct me if you know the correct source.
Otherwise, just enjoy and feel free to share.
“Be right back…” Just running away from Monday and going straight to the airport.
My favourite childhood memory is my parents paying for my holidays
I wish I was a postcard. For under $10 you can travel the world to any location in the world
Go to work. Open computer. Scroll for plane tickets for 6 hours. Close computer. Go home.
If travelling was free… bye
You can’t make everyone happy. You are not a plane ticket
There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation
Girls just wanna have sun
I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel brochure
You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driver’s licence
Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito
I googled my symptoms. Turns out I just needed to go on a vacay
Ironing boards are surfboards that gave up their dreams and got a boring job. Don’t be an ironing board
It’s rude to leave a vacation waiting
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.. Then it dawned on me
I love those days when my only decision is window or aisle
Yeah, working is great…but have you tried travelling?
I’m a travel addict on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport
Airports: the only place where drinking 8 AM is socially acceptable
Overpack. It’s why suitcases have wheels now
Work tip: stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return
Life goal: Create a life that people assume you have anyway based on your Instagram account!
I followed my heart and it led me to the airport
I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords
“Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.” ~ Hotel in Athens
Sunsets. Life’s way of saying: ‘good job, you survived another day. Here’s something pretty!
Tripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any travel trips currently booked
Have you ever stopped to think, maybe travel is addicted to me?
That moment when you’re asked where you got something and you answer with the name of the country, not the name of the store
Me: “I want to travel more”, the bank account: “Like, to the park?”
All you need is love a passport
Stuck somewhere between “I need to save” and “you only live once”
If you had to choose between true love or travelling the world, which country would you visit first?
I would totally give up travel, but I’m not a quitter
Love is the food of life, travel is dessert
You can’t make everyone happy. You are not a plane ticket
Going on a trip. Need about 5 outfits. I’ve packed 35 just to be safe
A passport holder sounds like a great idea until you get to the airport and have to remove it 4 billion times.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need a trip
I’m not a tourist; I’m an adventurer with a camera
I need a six month vacation, twice a year
We go together like passport stamps and jet lag
The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots
Conclusion
And that’s it –
I truly hope you enjoyed these funny travel quotes and captions as much as I have putting them together.
If any has brightened your day, or made you smile, please let me know in the comments below.
Better still, share any that I’ve missed that could make me smile too …
That’s it for now – Keep clicking and stay caffeinated
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Enjoy!
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Note – Unless otherwise stated, all photos are mine and remain my copyright images – Sam Wilson Photography.
